Tag: Steel

Top Ten “So Bad They’re Good” Movies

Top Ten “So Bad They’re Good” Movies

Believe it or not, finding movies that are just so bad that they are either hilarious or just plain entertaining, is a passion of mine. There is something so entertaining about laughing at a disaster. So here I’m going to list a few movies that I feel fall under this category. My advice to you is to get a group of your friends together and watch one of these. I guarantee you won’t regret it.

 

  1. Gods of Egypt

This is going to be the most recent movie on this list. This movie came out in 2016 and I saw this movie on cable one day and I was in tears with laughter. This movie was so bad that director Alex Proyas was literally offended by the awful reviews of this movie that he went on a rant about how critics don’t “understand” this movie. The rant is highly entertaining in comparison to this movie. The CGI is SO BAD in this movie. What makes me crack up watching this movie is that the movie’s plot is ridiculous and insane. The problem is that the actors are taking this insane plot SUPER SERIOUS. That compared with hilarious dialogue that sounds like a six-year-old wrote it with a crayon and the fact that these actors are acting in an entire CGI environments that looks like a cartoon makes this the best comedy I saw in 2016.

 

  1. The Happening

“Guys, take an interest in science!”- Mark Wahlberg (The Happening). M. Night Shamalamadingdong’s career is an interesting one. His first two films are great, one being an Oscar nominated film (The Sixth Sense), one being one of my favorite movies (Unbreakable), his next two (Signs and The Village) are divisive. His 5th film “Lady in the Water” is a horrible disaster. “The Happening” was his next movie and this was his worst movie at the time. He later topped himself in awfulness with “The Last Airbender” in 2010. While “The Happening” is one of M. Night’s worst movies, its friggin’ hilarious. When Mark Wahlberg is playing a middle school science teacher in your movie you know it’s going to be great. The plot is literally about the plants are mad at humans so they release a toxin that makes people kill themselves. Scary, right? I’ll admit this could be disturbing if done right. M. Night Shamalamadingdong does not do it right. The way he films the suicides is just hilarious. I hate saying that but it’s true. When people jump off the roof in this movie it’s so obvious that they are dummies. It’s insane. There are so many great quotes from this movie from the hilariously awful script. Most notably one about hot dogs. You won’t miss it. And Mark Wahlberg in this movie doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. You can just tell.

  1. Batman & Robin

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the movie that killed the Batman franchise for a little while. This movie was so bad that Warner Bros. put the brakes on making any more Batman films in the future. George Clooney constantly apologizes to Batman fans for this movie. And with good reason. This movie is…..good lord. This is one of those movies that as you watch it you literally think to yourself “What the hell were they thinking?” For example, who thought it was a good idea to include nipples and a cod piece on the Batman and Robin suits? And who told director Joel Schumacher that having a literal shot of Batman’s ass, front side, and his new nipples was a good opening shot? Who thought the line “Hey Batman can I drive the car? Chicks dig the car!”, was a good line? And lastly casting Arnold as Mr. Freeze was a horrible idea. He delivers such zingers as “What killed the dinosaurs? The ice age!!” and “Ice to meet you!” This movie is just hilarious based on the fact alone that it was made. Trust me there is a lot more that I can talk about. I just don’t want to spoil the hilarity.

 

  1. Steel (1997)

Wouldn’t be great if an NBA superstar starred in a DC comic book movie? No, it wouldn’t. Case in point “Steel”. “Steel” stars the one and only Shaquille O’Neal as a friggin guy who makes a suit made from steel and fights crime. What more would you want? If you looking for a movie with seemingly endless amount of basketball puns look no further than “Steel”. These basketball puns don’t even make sense. Shaq isn’t playing himself. He’s playing a character who happens to be 7’1 and 325 pounds. In the movie, kids keep coming up and asking him to shoot a shot. And we all know about Shaq’s free throw shooting so it’s always a joke that he can’t make the shot. It’s so weird. There are so many unintentionally hilarious moments in this movie. There’s a scene where a cop screams “Where did that son of a butt go?!” Son of a butt? Who says that? My favorite moment in this movie is when Shaq falls off a roof and the shot of him falling you can see the wire that’s holding him in the shot. Just awful stuff be endlessly entertaining.

6. Nine Lives (2016)

All I have to do is explain the plot of this movie and you’ll get why this is just hilarious. Academy award-winning actor, Kevin Spacey’s character, is a bad father. He’s a big business man and he doesn’t have time for his kids. So to make up for his horribleness, he decides to get his kids a cat from Chirtopher Walken’s character. Lighting strikes the pet store, (which just looks so sketchy), and Kevin Spacey’s soul possess the cat. Not like a CGI looking cat…..no a real cat. So he has to find out how to get out of his new cat body by trying to convince his family that he is the cat! Mr. Spacey why did you take this role? Oh yeah–money. This movie is hilarious because it does things that are just SO bad that you seriously could not believe that they are doing. I don’t want to spoil the incredible things that happen in this “kids” movie. It will for sure have you rolling on the floor with laughter.

5. Jaws: The Revenge

“Jaws” is quite possibly my favorite movie. It’s one of the movies that I saw when I was a kid that made me fall in love with movies. Jaws’ sequels on the other hand are a very different story for me. “Jaws 2″ isn’t terrible. It’s actually pretty enjoyable. Roy Scheider returned as Chief Brody which helped the films likability a lot.”Jaws 3-D” is awful. It takes place in Sea World. That’s really all I have to say. But “Jaws: The Revenge” is hilarious. It’s like the studio forgot literally everything what made the original Jaws great. Great characters, fantastic dialogue, and incredible suspense. Instead they chose to make a movie with, quite possibly the dumbest plot ever, include original characters from the first one but this time around make them as bland as a cracker, and HAVE THE DUMBEST PLOT EVER. I mean seriously, who wrote this? If you don’t know, the plot of Jaws 4 is that the original shark, who got blown up in the first one, has family members apparently. So this shark HUNTS DOWN THE BRODY FAMILY. Not only is this dumb, it makes no sense. a shark will have no way of knowing where and who these people are. The shark not only does that. When the Brody family gets scared of the sharks they move to the Bahamas. The shark follows them from Amity Island to THE FREAKIN’ BAHAMAS. HOW?!?!? And lastly, how they kill the shark at the end is incredible. It makes no sense and is just hilarious. If you don’t feel like watching this movie just look up the clip on youtube and you won’t be disappointed.

4. Battlefield Earth (2000)

This film is based on the book by L. Ron Hubbard, the creator of the most insane religion ever, scientology. This is the origin story of scientology. It stars John Travolta as a 9 foot tall alien with dreadlocks. I think that’s all I have to say.

3. The Wicker Man

Nicolas Cage is the king of making these kinds of movies. Vampire’s Kiss, Bad Lieutenant, Left Behind etc,. The best film in this company is by far is ‘The Wicker Man’ in my opinion. When your movie is marketed as a disturbing horror film and you end up not scaring your audience, you end up putting your audience into stitches–you’ve failed. This movie is an interesting one though. The first three-quarters of this movie is bad but not AWFUL. The plot of this movie is as follows: Nicolas Cage is a sheriff who goes to an island to investigate the disappearance of a young girl, only to find out that the island has a DARK SECRET. They sacrifice men to get the bees to come back and give them their honey! Scary! The last quarter of this movie is when it gets absolutely hilarious. If you ever wanted to see Academy Award winner Nicolas Cage punch two women in the face (one being in a bear suit), this is the movie! But what really makes me lough about this movie the most is the fact that none of it makes sense after the movie ends. After thinking about this movie after it was over I realized that things that were introduced into the plot earlier in the film don’t make any sense. NO QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED.

2. Samurai Cop

You probably don’t know anything about this movie. And that’s understandable. This was a film that recently in the past few years resurfaced. This was a straight to VCR film from 1991. This movie is probably the worst movie you will ever see.  I’m pretty serious about that. Literally everything that the director tries to do he fails. Literally everything. The shots are even off. In the same scene one shot will be shot in an entirely different part of the day. It’s that obvious.The acting is HORRENDOUS. There are so many incredible lines and scenes that are just so freaking funny. I mean just to give you a glimpse, it’s said that the main character is a Samurai and can speak fluent Japanese. He can not. Nor is he a samurai. The “attempts” at filming action scenes are so freaking funny. The director thought it would be a good idea to during the fist fights, to speed the film up, to mask the fact that the actors can’t fake fight. You can imagine how horrible that looks. This movie is also a blatant ‘Lethal Weapon’ rip-off.

1. The Room

Without this classic, I probably wouldn’t have made this list. This movie opened my eyes to so bad it’s good movies. If you haven’t heard of ‘The Room’, I beg of you watch it with a group of people. I can’t even put in words how incredible this movie is. Like ‘Samurai Cop’, everything infamous writer/director/actor Tommy Wiseau tries to pull off–he fails. Incredible lines like “Your tearing me apart Lisa!” and “This is bullshit I did not hit her I did not! Oh hi Mark.” have become infamous. This movie has been such a cultural phenomenon that Academy Award nominee James Franco directed a movie set to come out later this year entitled “The Disaster Artist” which is based on the making of this film. I’ve seen this movie about 5 times and I honestly can tell you I have no idea why it’s called ‘The Room’.